Dreams: By Tag: Celebrity

Tuesday, October 07, 2008: Carriage, horse, driver, master

A black lacquered carriage drawn by a strong brown horse rolled down the dusty street. Patrick Stewart played the master in the carriage. He lounged across the seats inside the carriage, and spoke to the driver from time to time, giving him direction.

From a nearby pub, a stumbling gang of drunks approached and surrounded the carriage. “Keep moving. Don’t slow down,” the master ordered. “Run them down if they get in the way.”

One of the men passed a mug of amber liquid up to the driver to give to the master. “Compliments of the house to the Master.”

The driver sniffed it. “It’s not piss, sir. It smells like beer.” The driver had gray mutton chop sideburns.

“Throw it away,” the master said. “No doubt it was mixed from mugs left at the bar, or else they had a round of spitting into this one.”

A little beer had spilled from the mug into a top hat inside the carriage. The master flicked the beer from the hat out a window.

Sunday, February 03, 2008: Dorm

I had a dream that I was living in a dorm in a high-rise building. The dorm had three bedrooms and three bathrooms and no windows. In order to enter and exit the floor our doom was on, I had to ascend or descend many escalators that passed through a department store.

One of my roommates reminded me of a French Pee-Wee Herman. He had a large collection of stuffed animals.

We were hanging around in the dorm lounge. Michael Jackson was there. He said not to get him started on his nose.

Between our high-rise and the city was a large wilderness area. A student guide showed us (my wife and I) through the wilderness once. But when we were returning without our guide, we got lost. We waded through high brush until I spied a road.

I was sitting in on a SNL episode. Mitt Romney was performing a song while playing guitar. But he could neither sing nor play guitar. He covered this up by feigning that he was retuning the guitar. I tried to help by playing some chords on my guitar. But Mitt Romney and the host shifted the blame to me and kicked me off the set.

Finally, I dreamed about a porch with a tree growing up through it. Squirrels were building a nest in the branches, and bees were building a hive.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008: Car accident, Scrubs, round table discussion

While pulling out of my driveway, I nudged the car of my neighbor under one of his trucks. I felt terrible, and apologized profusely. I could not figure out how we were going to get his car out from under his truck.

Before this dream, I can only recall a bit of another dream: Dr. John Dorian (Zach Braff) and Dr. Kim Briggs (Elizabeth Banks), from the television show Scrubs, take handfuls of cocaine, snort them, and have sex.

We were seated at a round table having a discussion. Seated around the table, I saw different versions of myself wearing elaborate masks. Some said that all of this was nonsense; others said to give it more time.

Saturday, December 15, 2007: Sleep paralysis and seven other dreams

After falling asleep, I dreamed that I was lying in bed. The room was dark. The bedsheets were white. I could feel the dog lying on the bed at my feet, and my wife was lying to my left; I was turned on my side facing her. I could not move! I could not speak! I tried to wake up but I could not wake up. I could feel shapes sliding past me, shadows, nightmare thoughts, slipping past me, trying to emerge: a mouth, lips and teeth, fingertips. With great concentration, I moved my right hand over myself. I could feel it tingling, as if it were waking up. I tried to speak to my wife. Shelby, help me wake up! I repeated this over and over.

Finally, in real life, she woke me up. She said that she heard me while she was sleeping, asking her to help me. After sitting up with the lamp on for a few minutes, I returned to sleep.

I had a dream that I was investigating a cellar with my aunts Florence and Jeanne. It was dark, and made of old poured concrete. There was a door which we entered from the ground level. The cellar was cluttered with objects so covered with dust and cobwebs, I could not distinguish them. There were spiders and other insects crawling about. I kicked a piece of something, and silverfish crawled from under it. One spider was at least three feet across! At the other end of the cellar was a door, and stairs up to another door. Below the first door was a rectangular drop, without stairs, a ten foot cubic hollow with another door! I asked my aunts about it and they said they did not know where the door leads to. I considered how I would climb down to investigate

I had a dream that I was on a tour bus. The bus was full of people of all kinds. A group of children were sitting together. I told them the story of Jesus. When I concluded, one of them asked with astonishment if it was true. I laughed and said, no, it was not true.

I had a dream that my silky terrier was chasing rats around and bringing them back to me in his mouth. I felt worried that he would catch a disease from them. The rats he brought back had big teeth.

I had a dream that I was chewing something, and the teeth on the left side of my mouth crumbled to pieces. After, I inspected them, and they were all still intact.

I had a dream that I was walking up my street. An old high school friend, Brian, pulled over in a convertible and offered me a ride. I got in the car, and began to tell him everything that had happened since I saw him last.

I had a dream that I walked the dog outside, and it was warm. When I went back inside the house, the house felt cold. I mentioned this to my wife, and suggested we open the windows of the house to let in the warm air.

The last dream left me with only vague impressions of being at a party, and meeting a celebrity, but I can remember no details.

Thursday, November 15, 2007: Woody

I had a dream that I was having lunch alfresco with Woody Allen. We discussed creative writing, and writer’s block and how to cope with it.

In another dream, I was playing with my dog in my living room.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007: Beige Apartment, White Stairs

I had a dream that I was walking the halls of an apartment complex. The walls were brick uniformly painted beige. A couple called out to my friend William to join them, and I think he did join them. My remembrance of the dream at this point overlaps. I was living in an apartment here, a long narrow closet; I was no longer living in the apartment, and I was standing outside looking at the door.

In the second dream I had, I was outside, descending a steep white stair under the stars. I was surrounded by sophisticates on platforms along the stair, wearing ball gowns and tuxedos. The descent was so steep that I had to put down my possessions and climb down on my hands and knees. I met an old friend of mine, Garland, at the bottom of the stair.

Sunday, June 17, 2007: Seven Dreams

In the first dream, I lived in a mansion, with cream-colored walls. The air felt cool. In an upper room, my friends gathered to play Dungeons & Dragons.

In the second dream, I entered a dark vault. Several scientist-cultists gathered around a black slab; they seemed perplexed. I looked up. Floating overhead was a wrinkled, skinny old man, naked except for a tangled cream-colored bed-sheet. After-images of himself floated beyond him. He radiated malevolence.

In the third dream, I was lying in bed. My wife was sleeping next to me. A lamp on a side table lit the bedroom; it had cream-colored walls and matching bed linen. A goldfish floated through a doorway. It glided through the air towards me. I brushed it with my fingertips, and it swam away. [In real life, I tried speaking in my sleep to my wife, repeating, “Look, a fish!” My dog must have heard me; he woke me, his paws propped up on the edge of the bed and his nose in my face.]

In the fourth dream, my wife and I were walking along a wooded road in Vermont. We were walking to a bed-and-breakfast. “It’s just around the corner,” I said.

In the fifth dream, my wife and I were sitting on a couch, with a sheet wrapped around us, watching porn on television.

In the sixth dream, I was reading a letter from Trent Reznor to his girlfriend. It was taped to a refrigerator.

In the seventh dream, I was sitting in a sound studio with Alice Cooper, The Rolling Stones, and Metallica. They were jamming on Satisfaction.

Sunday, May 20, 2007: New Club, New Home, John Updike, Kramer

I was invited to a club opening. I arrived early, and sat in a dark corner, alone. Several homeless people sat nearby, here for the free alcohol. I asked a waitress about mixed drinks, explaining that I never drank anything but wine. She brought me a glass of red wine, and I sat, sipping it.

The club filled quickly. A man asked me if I should be drinking wine. They asked if my religion permitted it. They said that if I did not know, that I should ask a religious leader if it is permitted. I said that I did not believe in religions that required one to ask another what their own conscience should tell them.

I dreamed that I was living in a new house. The house contained a menagerie of animals. At bedtime, I herded the animals into a single room, and closed the gate. As I got into bed, I noticed that my wife was sleeping on a different side.

I had a dream that the author John Updike was showing me around his house. It was full of books. He was searching for a particular collection of stories he wished to lend me.

Finally, I dreamed that Kramer, from the TV show Seinfeld, was loudly humming a song, whose lyrics, should his companions recognize the song, would inform them about a person at another table.

Friday, April 20, 2007: Henry Rollins, Vermont Vacation, Crazy Shrew

I was walking up my street when I saw Henry Rollins. I told him that I was a fan of his since Black Flag. I said that I approved of his career choices, and felt that he had in no way “sold out”. He thanked me, and said that he was happy with the choices he had made, too. He said that Alice Cooper was going to be on his show soon. He got into a van that came equipped with a full bath, said to call him sometime. I waved goodbye and walked back to my house.

Next, I dreamed that my wife and I were vacationing in Vermont. We were staying in a college dorm. We only had one day left to our vacation, and we were deciding which restaurant would be the last. We settled on the Trattoria Delia. There was a knock at the door. I opened the door, and a group of college students were standing there. They dismantled the door. I said that they must be mechanical engineers.

In my final dream, I was observing a newlywed couple. They were parked near an aquarium. The husband walked away to do some errands. The wife proceeded to fill up their truck with water from a hose, hit golf balls into the glass of the aquarium, and even jumped into the tank and swam up and down with the fish. When he came back from his errands, she got very angry with him over a trifle, and shrieked that she would put her golf club through his skull. At this, his eyes began to open to her lunacy. He noticed a golf ball embedded in the glass of the tank, and touched it with his fingers thoughtfully.

Sunday, December 10, 2006: Too Close Shave, Strange Toilet, Dog Bite, Ice Cream

My wife gave me a facial hair trimmer for Christmas. I performed a test shave in the bathroom mirror. The trimmer shaved too close; it shaved off the skin on my chin in two places.

In another dream, I was hanging out with my old friend William, at his radio show, with a couple of well-known but much older rappers. We were discussing Rap Theory, the rise and decline of the music genre.

I had a dream that I was at a party. People were dancing, talking, drinking. I fondled two different women; they didn't seem to mind. During the dream, I found that I was describing the dream to somebody in a second separate dream. In the second separate dream, I was in a group therapy session, led by a husky, middle-aged black man.

In another dream, I was in my basement, examining the toilet in the bathroom. I noticed that there was a blue plastic skirt around the toilet base. I removed the skirt and discovered that there was nothing under it but a deep hole, to a sub-basement, with a blue pool of water. “Somebody is going to fall into that,” I thought to myself.

I had a dream that I was in the ice cream section of a supermarket. The ice cream was gourmet quality, in various delightful flavors and shapes. I selected an orange cream flavored gelato.

In the last dream I can recall, our little silky terrier was having a panic attack. He was lashing out, growling and biting at everything. I got his attention, to protect my wife, and to calm him down. He leaped up and latched onto my thumb with his back teeth. It doesn’t hurt; he doesn't even break the skin. His jaw jutted at an unusual angle. I held him in the air for a while. He seemed to ponder the situation and calmed down, releasing my thumb.

Sunday, December 03, 2006: Gathering, Sabotage, Flying, Restaurant

There was a gathering taking place. My friends were there; ex-church members were there, too. We were going to verbally dismantle the church. We rehearsed, but I cannot recall what we rehearsed.

Afterwards, I spoke with Will about our writing and gaming. We were pleased with our progress. We flipped through a book of pencil sketches of Lovecraftian subjects.

I drove a car into a parking lot late at night. I discovered that the other car tires had been flattened. No doubt it was church saboteurs. But my early discovery of this plot could be easily undone in time for our coup with the church.

Morning came, the sun lighting green leafy trees along a street. I saw a young black girl playing. As I walked down the street, I leaped into the air, and floated down. I repeated this several times, until I was able to stay aloft by flapping my arms. The young girl was amazed.

My wife and I got into a blue Dodge Charger. I needed to go to the bathroom, but I said that I could go at the restaurant. We drove to the restaurant. There were two restaurants, actually, both with crowded al fresco dining areas. One restaurant was called The Ghost in the something something. I cannot remember what the something was, but we guessed it was an Irish pub. We walked over to the other restaurant. I was barefoot, despite the cold. I thought that I should go back to the car to put on shoes, but I did not go back. Katherine Helmond was our waitress. We exclaimed, “Mona!” She seated us in a far corner, near the restrooms.

Friday, November 24, 2006: Superhero, Hospital, College

I was a superhero, standing in a line with other superheroes, waiting to be allowed to enter a city of superheroes. I wore a costume, but I did not have a mask. I searched for a suitable mask, but I only found mexican wrestler masks. As I entered the city, a costumed woman handed me a list of rules to follow. The city was futuristic in appearance, with escalators and moving walkways, glass, steel, concrete, and bright lights. It was teeming with caped and costumed superheroes. I explained to a friend that this place was like the Justice League.

In another dream, I was in a hospital. I was slowly pacing a room with a doctor. The room was clean, with light blue tile and curtains. The doctor looked like M Night Shyamalan. He described the procedure to me in a calm voice. He also spoke to a woman who would be assisting him, listing the surgical instruments that he would require. The procedure involved operating on my chest. The nurse asked if my chest would need to be shaved.

In my last dream, I returned to college. In a classroom and in the halls, I saw my brother and many highscool friends. I walked into a cooking class; the teacher was Emeril Lagasse. As I walked around the class, speaking with Emeril, I stretched a piece of dough into a pizza. I apologized to Emeril for missing his class, explained that I was sick, and asked if there was any makeup work or tests. He said not to worry about it. I searched the classroom for a pizza stone, but I could not find one. All I could find was more dough, in various shapes and stages.

Thursday, November 16, 2006: Vermont Trip Preparations

My wife and I were outside, preparing for a trip to Vermont. As we packed our luggage into the car, I realized that I did not recognize the car. I examined the unfamiliar vehicle: it was a brown station wagon with a sunroof. On the back seat were several large bags of M&M candies. I asked, “Is this our car?” She replied, “Of course. We’ve had this car for a long time.”

We went back into our house. The interior of the house was a pastiche of all of the houses I have lived in before.

My wife sat down for a moment in the living room. A voice in my head said, “What is missing from this picture?” My daughter appeared, dressed for ballet, in white tights and slippers, dancing around my wife. I thought it was a riddle, but I could not discern the answer.

We said our farewells to our children. I hugged my daughter. Then, I hugged my son. After hugging him, I realized that he wasn’t my son; he was my daughter’s boyfriend: tall, with spiky bleach-blond hair.

As we were driving out of a parking garage, a white car appeared in front of our car. The driver looked like Tracy Morgan with wild hair. He looked angry. He pushed our car backwards with his car. After a brief car tug-of-war, we managed to get our car around his car and drove off.

Suddenly, I found myself inside a old workshop, with off-white walls and a white tin ceiling. There were small desks with sewing machines and old typewriters on them. My wife was not with me. I realized that I was dreaming, and that I needed to get back to my wife so that we could go on our trip.

In a separate dream, a friend and I were getting a tour of a haunted house. We doused any lights we came across during the tour, until the house was completely dark. As I began to wake, I saw circles of blue light.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006: Pulling Teeth

Standing in the kitchen pantry of my house was Malcolm David Kelley of the television series Lost. He asked me to help him pull out all of his teeth, then push them back in. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea. He insisted. I suggested that he begin by pulling a tooth that would not be noticed and replacing it. He pulled out a pair of pliers. Then I woke up.

Why do I keep dreaming of this kid? I haven’t even watched Lost since last season.

I stretched out on a large bed in the basement of my house.

I didn’t remember this dream until much later.

Sunday, October 22, 2006: Church Intrusions, Fatherly Extortion, Demonic Seduction

I stood next to a long heavy wood dining room table. Seated around the table were members of the church I left years ago in real life. The phone in the middle of the table began to ring. Those seated at the table looked to me expectantly. So I answered the phone. It was Malcolm David Kelley. He spoke to me about church-related things. I stopped him after a minute or so, saying that I no longer attended this church, and that I don't even know why I am here, then I hung up.

My dad, my sister, and I were driving at night. My sister dropped me off at a mall. I was going to see a movie in the theater that was in the mall. But when I got to the theater, it was full of members from the church I left years ago. This annoyed me, so I waited outside for my father and sister to return.

After my father and sister returned, my father was telling me that he needed to borrow money. He had two sheets of paper. One was a list of items totaling the money he needed to borrow. The second sheet was a list of insignificant things that he believed he had done for me that entitled him to money from me.

In a different dream, I was being seduced by three demons, and I let them seduce me.

In a dream I cannot place chronologically among the other dreams, I was coding my website. I added a CSS effect to title text to make it look blurry.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006: Kramer Annoyed

Kramer, from the television show Seinfeld, seemed annoyed with me. As I wandered around his apartment, observing the cornucopia of his bizarre acquisitions and inventions, another man entered the apartment, and annoyed him more. I took this as an opportunity to make amends, and made a positive comment about the blueprint hanging on the wall. Kramer’s attitude towards me immediately lightened. He said that he wanted to be an architect. The blueprint resembled a layout of my childhood home.

More Seinfeld dreams!

I had a repetitive data entry dream, where I was entering numerous elements of a dream taxonomy into my laptop.

When I engage in repetitive activities while awake, I often dream about them. This past week, I have been backfilling the database behind this site with past dreams, as well as tagging them appropriately.

During the night, as I started to wake up, I realized that I was waking up, and dreamed that my memories of my prior dreams were swallowed up in a black balloon, floating away from me into darkness as I flailed blindly after its tether.

Again, I am having difficulty with dream recall. I think I am trying too hard.

Monday, October 09, 2006: Sodding Seinfeld

Cosmo Kramer and George Costanza, from the TV show Seinfeld, were having tea with a British friend. This friend has a weak spot for pastries, and cursing his weakness, exclaimed, “Sodding cakes!” A bell rung in Kramer’s head; he had an idea.

In the next scene, George was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Kramer dumped a wheelbarrow full of dirt over Costanza’s head through a kitchen window.

Apparently, Kramer had confused the intended British slang meaning of the word sodding, for the word sod, or a clump of dirt, thus prompting him to consider geophagy.

Sunday, October 08, 2006: Celebrity Secret, Vasectomy

Macaulay Culkin was hiding secret messages in his back teeth. He took a strip of paper from a sliding compartment inside a wooden board. He put the message inside one of his molars. Then he pulled a message out of another molar, and put it inside the board.

My wife and I were in a doctor’s office, discussing, first with a nurse, then with two doctors, the details and cost of a vasectomy. I could not actually bring myself to say the word.

I vaguely recall lying on a twin bed with my wife, in a dark basement. She had gained considerable weight. She mentioned that she was having her period. She was also acting frisky.

I also remember a brief recurring dream where I am going through a sequence of movements to get from point A to point B, but I cannot recall the details.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004: Playhouse

I was in a red brick church-like playhouse. It reminded me of St. Stephen's Church on Grafton Street. In front of me, was Zoe Wanamaker. She had white hair, and was singing a song called “I Smell?” After the song was over, an old woman wearing a dark red leather cloak came down from the stage and told me to follow her. I followed her downstairs, to a dark, open space. The stairs spiraled down to a small brick house in the midst of the vast darkness. I descended.

The association of the playhouse with St. Stephen's Church goes beyond mere appearance. There is a sense of space, that in my mind, this place is the same place as the church, without actually being the church.

I had watched My Family on BBC America that evening; Zoe Wanamaker plays the mother in that series.

Monday, October 18, 2004: Rivers of Coffee and Flying Bears

I followed one of my co-workers, Ray, around a busy factory floor. I felt concerned for him, as he has health problems in real life. We were trying to complete an agenda he had written out on his hand, but the task was overwhelming. We rode conveyor belts to move about the factory. Somehow, I lost him.

In another dream, I was in a sprawling apartment. The walls were painted white. There was clutter everywhere, mostly laundry. Downstairs, on the sidewalk outside of the building, police were inspecting a cargo container. It was strangely labeled. I don’t remember the exact wording, but it made the container seem safe, even though there were terrorists hiding inside the container. Upstairs, there was a party on a balcony. It was a bright day. Macaulay Culkin popped some kind of drug into my mouth... LSD? I didn’t notice anything unusual. I wondered when it would take effect. I walked into the apartment. I remember following a kid into a very messy room, cluttered with laundry, models, video games, etc.

The party and Macaulay Culkin are drawn from the movie Party Monster. The terrorists in the box... they’re probably from the presidential debate, where John Kerry has repeated over and over that the majority of containers coming into the United States ports are not inspected.

In another dream, I was outside, walking up my street, early in the morning, before the sun was up. I could hear a hair dryer whirring from from my neighbor’s house. I wondered, “Wow, that is a loud hairdryer, for me to hear it from outside.” I had a blanket wrapped around me. It was very cold. As I neared my fence, I suddenly sensed a large dog behind me. I wrapped the blanket around me tighter, and everything became darker.

I’m fairly certain somebody in my house was running a hair dryer in the morning, and I could hear it in my sleep.

In the final dream, I had crossed Hamilton Street. Suddenly, the street became a river of coffee. Across the river, a barn full of coffee beans sprung up, and a Starbucks-like building appeared at the top of the hill. The coffee smelled great, but I wondered how I would cross the river to go home. Somebody was with me... I’m not sure who. I told him, “They did this,” and pointed at two small brown bears with purple butterfly wings, hiding in the bushes. I caught one of the bears, and held it upside-down by its legs, demanding that he change the street back.

Maybe I’m craving coffee? The bears were drawn from real-life, where a couple days ago, my daughter had shown me a teddy bear she received at a party.

Saturday, September 11, 2004: Celebrity Stalker

I was being stalked by Ashton Kutcher. He was going to kill me with a mallet. He pursued me through the rooms and corridors of a dark apartment complex. I tried to lock the doors behind me, but they wouldn’t work.

Monday, August 16, 2004: Mall, Old Friend and Poetry

I was in a large department store or shopping mall. The roof leaked. In the mall, I saw some security guards. And I saw two girls from Rich Girls. Or they could have been Edina and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous?

I had a very positive dream about my old friend Will. He was living in a large apartment. Everything was painted white. His father was living there again, as were several other room-mates. Will was going to submit my poetry to a web site called Lovegods.com, or Lovegods.org, or something like that.

I checked the web sites and they don't exist, beyond some kind of dating serving links.

Saturday, August 14, 2004: iBook, Demons, Roof, Country Music, Church

My house was on the side of Grafton Street with a shopping plaza. I could look out of my house; the entire side of the house was open to the street. I could see that it was night. I had just received a brand new iBook. I grabbed it off of my desk, crossed the street, and sat on a bench to do some work.

In another dream, I sketched two demons on an IT request form. Somebody asked, “Did you draw that?” I said, “Yes, could you fill this request please?” We laughed.

I dreamed that the roofers removed the entire roof and all of the siding from my house. I realized that the house resembled my childhood home on Dartmouth Street. The wood under the siding was painted drab green.

In another dream, I was in a dark, cozy room. Garth Brooks was writing a song. In the song, he had strung together several prepositions at the end of a sentence, like “up on in”. I corrected his grammar, but added that since it was a song, colloquialisms were fine. He didn’t say anything.

In the last dream, I was in a church meeting. Something felt like it was missing, so that neither I nor the rest of the church could take it seriously.

Why am I dreaming of country music, much less correcting the grammar of a country song?

Tuesday, August 03, 2004: Apartments

I was standing across the street from a pair of three-story apartments, sitting on an open plain. The apartments had flat roofs and were constructed, if you had a bird’s-eye view, to resemble the letter W. The house on the left was yellow; the house on the right was white. By way of color, position, and height, the apartment on the right resembled my childhood home on Dartmouth Street, and the apartment on the left resembled... the apartment to the left of my childhood home. Because the apartments were on an open plain, I felt nervous about approaching tornados, though there wasn't a cloud in sight.

A woman was selling the yellow house. It seems I had already bought the white house. “If I had the money,” I thought, “I would buy both houses.”

As I examined the house, I discovered that the basement ceiling was very low, and I was able to move the floorboards overhead. The upper interior of the house had a wide open space with heavy, movable wrought-iron stairs, platforms, and even stranger structures, one of which I think was a folding cube.

My father, brother, uncles, and my father’s (now deceased) dog were in the house. As Bandit, my father’s dead dog approached me, I felt apprehensive, because I knew that, in real life, the dog was dead.

In another dream I had, I was in a hotel bed. I had a cold. My nose was very runny. I blew my nose frequently and put the tissues on the floor next to the bed. Steve (Jack Davenport) and Susan (Sarah Alexander) from the BBC TV show Coupling were in the bed next to me, arguing.

I had a dream that I was living in a first-floor studio of an apartment complex. A young black man outside my window was complaining about how loud my music was.

I had a dream that I was reading RPG review online, something that I was doing frequently last night.

Finally, in the last dream I remember, I was talking to a small latino boy and his family. He had a black pet that could talk, though I can’t remember if it was a cat or a dog.